A woman is being dragged for telling her future daughter-in-law a family trip was “adults only” when that wasn’t the case, garnering a lot of harsh criticism for the move.
The viral Reddit post shared on June 5 titled “[Am I The A**hole] for going home right after I found out that my [future mother-in-law] lied about not bringing kids on this family trip” by Redditor @thatmomma79 has been turning heads ever since, receiving over 9,600 upvotes.
A “blended” family is defined as any household that includes a stepparent, step-sibling, or half-sibling, according to Love to Know, and they’re no longer uncommon.
The Stepfamily Foundation reports that according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 1,300 new stepfamilies are formed each day. In addition, more than 50 percent of families in the United States are remarried or re-coupled. Around 50 percent of children under the age of 13 are living with a biological parent and their partner.
From Loss to Love
The original poster (OP) is a 33-year-old female with two girls who are 5 and 7. Their father died from cancer, and she described it as a “very devastating loss for both his and my family.”
The Redditor met her fiancé, Jack, who is 36, two years ago. She revealed he’s “very sweet and adores” both of her children equally.
“However, his mom has a bit of a harsh view on single moms, especially with how low my income is compared to his (he’s a doctor),” the OP went on. “I tried my best to have a good, respectful relationship with her, and she has started to respond positively, though I noticed that she’d excluded my girls a number of times from a number of occasions.”
The woman’s future mother-in-law told them about a three-day family trip that was “adults only,” and she said it was because the trip included going to the bar and doing activities that aren’t considered “child friendly.”
“She told me I needed to leave my daughters with someone before Jack and I could come, and I immediately had my sister come and stay with them at home,” the OP said.
The trip included a three-hour flight by plane, and the OP and Jack were late getting to the airport, although Jack claimed he meant to get there late so they wouldn’t have to wait long. The woman saw Jack’s parents, and they talked as they waited for the OP’s sister-in-law and brother-in-law.
That’s when the “adults only” gimmick came to an end.
“I then saw them coming towards us with their three kids behind. I was confused, I looked at [my future mother-in-law], and she avoided eye contact. I immediately asked [my sister-in-law] why she brought her kids and whether she was aware that this wasn’t [a] child-friendly trip. [She] and her husband looked confused and said there was no such thing, but I told them what [my future mother-in-law] told me, and I didn’t bring my girls.”
The OP’s sister-in-law didn’t say anything at that, but her husband, who loves her kids, the Redditor said, told the her that Jack’s mom “must’ve lied” and told her that to keep her from bringing her kids.
It all broke out from there. The sister-in-law then “yelled” at her husband, and the OP “lashed out” at Jack and his mother, calling her mother-in-law “horrible.”
The OP walked away, and Jack told her to “hold on for a minute,” but she canceled her ticket and went home. After the trip, Jack returned, and the couple get in a “big fight.”
“He said no one enjoyed the trip because I [caused] everyone to fight by how I reacted,” she continued. “I told him she excluded my daughters, but he said that his mom is entitled to her feelings, and I shouldn’t expect to spring the girls on her all the time when she still doesn’t consider them as close as her other grandchildren.”
Jack then “promised” her that it was all going to “change” and that she just has to give it time. He also commented that she shouldn’t have walked away and canceled her ticket like that.
Over 1,500 comments came in over the situation, and people are fully backing the woman and slamming her fiancé and his mother.
Some Redditors urged the OP not to marry into the family.
“Jack and FMIL saw no issue with excluding your children, and then Jack had the nerve to double down and defend it,” the user said. “He doesn’t adore your children as much as you think he does. Take this for the red flag it is.”
“NTA, and time to rethink your relationship with your fiancé,” a user added. “Your FMIL will not warm up to you or your kids, they will always be treated second class, and I don’t think that’s what you want for your daughters by the sound of it.”
Others were bothered by the deceit itself.
“There are consequences to telling outright lies, so that is on her,” the user wrote. “Your FMIL needs to grow up. Either ‘suck it up’ and include your kids because they are her son’s family, or be honest when she doesn’t want to include them. Yes, that will make her look like an a**hole, but that tends to happen when you are an a**hole.”
“That should show you just how much he actually cares about you,” they said. They also weighed in on the OP’s mother-in-law, stating, “It’s awful that she won’t accept your children as her grandchildren. Though I guess that she is entitled to her feelings, but that doesn’t mean she gets to lie to you about the trip.”
Another user thinks if Jack’s mother is “pulling this s**t now, it will continue” in her relationship with him. “And if you two have children of your own?” they wondered. “Be prepared for the show of favoritism to get worse. Your children don’t deserve to be treated differently just because they don’t have Jack’s blood.”
Another Redditor took a slightly more skeptical approach, saying Jack “needs to think about this a little deeper,” adding, “FMIL lied, knowing she was going to be found out (unless she thought OP wouldn’t notice the kids). She was intentionally trying to provoke an extreme reaction from OP, knowing it would cause friction between OP and Jack. She is trying to break you up. NTA [not the a**hole]. If Jack won’t wake up, you might want to rethink the relationship.”
‘Should have had your back’
Some Redditors bashed Jack for going on the vacation without his fiancé.
“Your fiancé should have had your back, not tried to make you feel guilty for a very understandable reaction to being lied to about something so important,” they expressed.
Another user didn’t mince words, calling Jack and his mother “major a**holes.” However, they think Jack is “worse” than his mother. They reasoned he still attended the trip, and they think he knew what was “happening from the start.”
“…And your ‘fiancé’ still got on the plane and followed his mommy. You and your girls deserve better,” another said.
Newsweek reached out to Redditor @thatmomma79 for comment.
This isn’t the only viral moment involving in-laws.
A mother-in-law was bashed for bringing her son’s ex to a family party.
A mother-in-law with “zero boundaries” was slammed for snooping through property.
In addition, the Internet praised a woman for outsmarting her mother-in-law over a trap.